an update from phone notes

started my last first day of school ever yesterday. for those of us who have been in school for the majority of our lives, we know no different.

here's what the world has recently thrown at me: as the adult world awaits, i've taken the advice of countless others to dive head-first into your passions. oddly enough, i love reality shows and had a confirmation from the one above (neat, thanks!) that i was called to them for *some* reason. it's taken me to california and back for final casting rounds for free (surprise!), could have even gone way further, and even could have happened all over again. however, something never felt right. i began seeking within myself.

why was i called to this unusual field, why was i given opportunities to further myself, why would i not feel peace toward something i was called to do, and why did i feel like saying no to what was once my ultimate dream?

i felt peace about california — the streets, the flowers, the lifestyle, and everything that came with it. and i felt peace about my life — my friends, my family, my hobbies, and my university. i didn't feel peace about the one thing i received confirmation that i was called for — reality shows.

reflecting back, i was called to reality tv to explore it and everything that came with it, in order to feel complete confirmation and happiness in the life i had. the peace and confirmation wouldn't exist if i didn't put myself though the moon and back for a dream i once had.

sometimes being brave, chasing your dreams, and stepping outside of your comfort zone lands in what looks like self-inflicted failure; however, it means you gained the world. failure is not fatal unless you learn from it.

 the hand of things also made me realized california — a world that seemed so far — felt like home. who knows when i would ever else made my way out there, quite a miracle within itself. maybe california will be home someday.

following your passions will always lead to peace, one way or another. i always recommend it, whether you're clueless with your path of life, or just need some inspiration.

all in all, it set me up ready, inspired, and happy as ever — which wasn't there before — for the next four months. it slowed me down, and it made me present. ready to focus on people, relationships, careers, and myself. our best day of the year could be tomorrow. let's tackle the rest of the year together!

Photo by Bran Santos.